How To Share A Bed With Your Partner

How To Share A Bed With Your Partner

For many of us, the act of sharing our bed with our partner is a fundamental part of being in a loving relationship. Unfortunately it’s also a common source of falling out (both in bed and with the partner). Differing sleeping habits, comfort needs and work schedules all have the potential to affect the quality of our sleep. Thankfully there are numerous easy solutions that you can do to help guarantee a restful night of slumber. Below are a list of commonly reported problems with sharing a bed with a partner and  our best solutions! 

  • Comfort needs
    When it comes to sleep, everyone’s comfort needs are different, which poses a problem when sharing a bed. More often than not, we end up compromising our own comfort for our partners or vice versa. Whether it’s the hardness of the mattress or the height of your pillow, the sacrifices made to adjust to our partners needs may be at the cost of your own crucial sleep. There are many ways to improve the comfort needs of both partners. Click here to read more.

  • Different routines
    Many bedtime battles are the result of differences in bedtime routines.  Whilst some people like to read a book, others love to watch TV. Compromise is the key and so find a routine that works for both parties. If that doesn't work, it may be a case of using ear plugs and eye masks to block out any unwanted noise and light.

  • Different schedules
    Different work schedules are a common source of sleep disturbance for many people. Being respectful and planning is key. If arriving late, try to come to bed quietly and use spot lighting if you want to read. If getting up early, have your clothes already prepared in another room or install lights in cupboards so you can access your clothes without turning on the main lights.

  • Body temperature
    Generally women are more of a cold-sleeper than men, which may result in a lot of duvet stealing during the night. Using single duvets with different togs or opting for multiple blankets and sheets are two simple but effective ways to meet the varying temperature needs of bed partner.

  • Larks and Owls
    Our genetics influence whether we are an owl (prefer go to bed later and wake up later) or a lark (prefer to go to bed early and get up early). Naturally such differences in sleep timing can make sharing a bed a real challenge. However, with a little bit of training you can adapt that genes have over you.  For owls this can be in the form of reducing light and activity levels in the evening and increasing them in the morning. Whereas for larks the opposite is required.

  • Sleeping positions
    Sleeping in the most comfortable position for you is again another very important aspect of ensuring a good night’s rest. For some this can come in the form of being tucked up in the foetal position, whilst for others it means being spread out like a star. Either way, having a big bed ensures that whatever position you adopt you have enough sleeping space that does not disturb your partner.

  • Snoring and other sleep disorders
    Snoring affects over 40% of the population, with men more likely to snore than women. Simple tactics such as getting the snorer to sleep on their side, avoiding sedatives such as alcohol and antihistamines (cold and flu remedies) or checking for allergies, can all help to reduce the level of airway collapse and therefore snoring noise (Read More). Other sleep disorders that make it harder to bed share include sleep apnoea and chronic insomnia, click on the links to find out how to manage them.

  • Night time movement
    Sleeping in cycles means that we naturally wake up every 1.5 - 2 hours. Albeit brief and mostly unconscious such awakenings offer an opportunity for us to change position in the night to avoid body pain and go to the toilet. If you’re a light sleeper such partner movement can continually disturb sleep and result in excessive daytime tiredness. Investing in mattress technology that doesn't transmit movement or putting two single mattresses in one frame, are two easy ways of controlling this problem and guaranteeing better quality slumber.

  • Fear of bed sharing
    If you suffer from insomnia, the worry of having your sleep disturbed or equally disturbing your partner, can be enough to keep you awake. Moving to the couch or the spare room is a common coping strategy and whilst it may help initially, in the long term it can fuel chronic  fear of bed sharing. The Sleep School’s revolutionary approach has helped many insomnia sufferers retrain themselves to achieve great quality sleep with their partners. Click here for more information. 

If you need help overcoming insomnia , we recommend our Sleep School for Insomnia App. It contains proven tools to help you fall asleep quicker, stay asleep and wake up feeling refreshed.

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Top 10 Insomnia FAQs Answered

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Everything You Need To Know About Insomnia